Somewhere In Time

Sometimes I feel it is necessary to define time as evil. Reason being time defines who we are, what we do and why we do what we do and how. Those scientists may argue that this is called evolution, but then why does evolution need to define how time builds a man? Or for that matter how time breaks down a man?

Look at it this way: time makes prisoners of us all, we’re guarded against the passing of time, using our reasoning power and logical thinking to decide what’s best at this moment and what’s not. For e.g. if the world needed to come to a consensus on global warming, why is it that we wait until a global conference on global warming is held to create awareness? Or for e.g. why do office timings remain glued to a global standard when work is created and delivered 24/7? It seems only reasonable that it is convenient for the people of today to rely on time to do what they need to at a particular, preset moment. How boring.

What if I say that time stands irrelevant and evolution itself bears testimony to the fact. The age of dinosaurs began approximately 220 million years ago and we’ve gone through 2.5 billion years of oxygen. So why this fixation with time…what difference does it make now that we’ve lived, as humans, for a million years that we begin to dissect what life was like before we made it. With what conviction do we define us as being authoritative figures in defining time periods? Darwin coined evolution, but did he coin time? I think not. Time therefore should remain irrelevant to achieve perfect synchronicity between astral systems. The reason I say this is because while we are hell bent on searching for life on other planets, we leave behind time which for us may be years, hours, etc but in terms of spacial evolution, these might be at either end of the spectrum, so while we keep speculating when what took place in the universe, the universe itself blooms or is broken down.

Time waits for no man it is said, rather should be man waits for no time. We grow older every day, but is that what makes us be seen as responsible persons, of marriageable age, of societal position? It is time that defines our downfall. Why shouldn’t a child be treated as an adult the moment he is born? Yes, an absolutely ridiculous thought I agree, but if we are so damned good at programming climate control, then why can’t we programme an evolution that doesn’t define time. Why fornicate only when you can? Why eat a meal only at meal times? Why close bars and restaurants to sleep? The human mind and body can never stop wanting and needing, and these aren’t necessarily defined by time’s whims and fancies.

I’m not entirely sure, but I do think that dinosaurs and whatever else came before them didn’t appreciate the beauty of the two hands of the clock. They chomped away at gigantic plants as if time was non-existent, turned the earth into piles of dung at any time they wished, and perished at the end of their turn. That is the point I’m making. When we all know that life is but a cycle, that repeats itself, why then do we succumb to the evil of time? After all, you, as I, are here to enjoy what we call life for but an atom of countless universal spacial moments.

Why Is Mud Brown?

Why is mud brown? Why? I don’t quite know, but I suppose the answer is akin to the question of why milk is white…and why elephants are called elephants.

If you actually delve into the question of why mud is brown, some of the likely answers are explored below:
Ans 1: Henry Ford created mud. Yes, we’re talking about that Henry Ford, not that Indiana Jones almost-name like…rather the Ford that created Ford. The Mustang Ford. It is said, although it escapes my drugged mind as to where exactly, that Henry Ford once 360 degreed a Mustang on the dirt tracks of Louisiana and the mixture of dirt, fuel, grime and tar threw up an intoxicating muck bucket that he eventually called ‘mud’. Why mud? I really don’t know, but I assume he was quite taken with the Elmer Fudd thing and surely he’d have remarked “fucking Fudd”…to be heard amidst squealing tires as ‘mud’.

Ans 2: Neil Armstrong couldn’t tell the truth about the moon…i.e. that there’s nothing really up there…so he decided to mastermind a huge conspiracy, something like Area 51, where the Government of the USA biologically injected the colour brown into the thing we now called mud, to make it brown, so that it was different from the colour of the ground on the moon. So here, we are, in the 21st century and we still believe in conspiracy theories…some of us should remain buried in mud…yea, the brown variety.

Ans 3: The Third World’s indigeneous people decided that brown is the colour of their race…so as to be seen from Mars as the people of Earth. Hmm…think a bit, do you really think the so-called Third World gives a damn about the colour of mud? Maybe…why, you ask me, why? I say why not? After all, their ground is ridden with blood feuds and colour-hate feuds…so why colour anything white, the colour of peace, and why red, the colour of war? Instead, settle for a less controversial brown, and let’s be called the children of brown dust.

Ans 4: The Bermuda Triangle’s DNA is actually mud. Mud buries people. Mud kills people. Mud is what we know to be landslides. Mud is the universal killer of thousands. The Bermuda Triangle makes things disappear without a trace, so why can’t mud be the DNA of the Bermuda Triangle? Mud too makes things disappear. So after all, the Bermuda Triangle might not just be a Triangle, but rather a strange geographical geometrical phenomenon that we stamp upon everyday. But the question of why it is brown is still unknown. That question has been, truthfully, lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

So, as you read this my friends, know one thing, and one thing only, that mud is brown for a reason that is unknown…unless science and God can explain, but then why leave everything to the two of them?

Mandatory Suicide

Have you traded your life for a role? Sold your heart for stones? I think you have. Most of the time you put on an act because most people love you for who you pretend to be. You keep pretending and performing and finally fall in love with your own act. You're then locked in to that act, and the key seems to be lost forever.

You are blinded by the light that appears out of the cracks in the wall, you are blinded by the fact that this is what you get in return and it feels good. But does it really feel good? Do you play for the madness of the crowds? Do you play for fame? Do you play for immortality? All your life you will slave to the grind to appease the masters of destruction - you're brainwashed, drowning in self-pity, weak and have no control over your actions. You fall at the feet of those who hasten your end, who drain your senses and those who bring you to shame...all because you let them own you. Why? Is not your heart, mind, body and soul yours alone?

You ask why. Why because you cannot accept freedom that comes your way, simply because too much of your plastic life will be lost. You lose sight of the high and mighty, the riches and the glamour. All in all you're just another brick in the wall of lost dreams. Build that wall high my friend, and it shall become your tomb. You're part of the mass hypnotism that has diseased our world today, you're nothing but a blood sucker from a dead life.

Look at the world today - it runs on chaos and disorder, that is the order. It runs on the whims and fancies of the world and it's leaders - arms, terrorism, wars...they contribute to running a world that keeps on turning. If peace ruled, would you ever have a mind? No...peace cannot rule, but for a revolution to take place, the seeds of change need planting in you.

Fear not the evil that rules the world, for it is a necessity. Fear not the darkness, for it is your strength. Fear not the unknown, for it is never real. Fear not life, for it is only certain as death. Fear just one - fear yourself and your false crown of thorns, fear your life in the act you assume, fear your conscience for it tells you the truth about you...fear you and you alone...

Commit mandatory suicide and you will find the real you, away from the act, away from the role, away from the crowds, away from the world...and heaven can wait...

I, Freakshow

I am a freak and you know it. You feel it. You need it. You want it. Freakshow, freakomaniac, freako...call me what you want, I am a freak. And you despise me because I cannot be your valued friend. I cannot be trusted to maintain decorum, yet part of you wants to be me. A tragic paradox. You do not want to be me, yet you want to, you do not want me, yet you do. I do not care what you think about me. You may not like what you see and I'm not here to preach to you. I have nothing you can buy. I have nothing that you need, but that fleeting glimpse of a sliver of madness.

I am a drifter, a wanderer, a nomad and no one cares whether I live or die, so my life is my own. I don't need you to judge the person I am or my worth in society. I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart, you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue...if you did you'd do the same thing too...so here I am, a freak to the world, a jester, a joker, an entertainer - this is what you want of me, and you shall get it. Because you need it. You need a laugh, a thing to point your finger at, and that is me...I am your evening's entertainment, I am your prime time TV. Bring it on, take from me what you can never have.

I am the one the world will never accept because I don't belong here. I am not a victim but an accident of birth. So many ask the question "who am I?"...I am this, I am that and I am everything that I want to be. I cannot be what you want me to be. To you I am nothing but another drop in the ocean, a fly on the wall. But I am the one that flaps my wings in the Antarctic and you'll feel my effects in the Arctic...I am that.

Isn't it strange that all you want from me is satisfaction? You strip me of my pride and my values and yet I give you what you want. But you, you hide behind me when the world comes looking. You are a coward. You want from me emotional, sexual satisfaction and whatever else the world describes as satisfaction..yet do you stand and take all that for me? No,because you are a leech. A leech of the world's whims and fancies. Your brains are boiled in ideals and you'll perish in them. But who am I? I am the one that brings you freedom, yet you do not accept, because it is against all you've learned and been taught. I am all the world warns you of. I am the one you love to hate. Because you cannot be me, for you have too much to lose. But I have nothing to lose. I am already lost. Lost to reason, lost to the world and lost to humanity. You cannot find me in paradise, you will find me in a burning hell.

You curse me, you ridicule me, you abuse me, yet you want to be me. I will take the bullet that was meant for you. I stand by your side when you need me. I am but a fleeting second in your lifetime. I am him, the one that is a loser in your eyes...because you cannot break your walls down. You are a parasite that feeds on the global meltdown - media, mass paranoia, religious devastation, social obligations and economical deformity - these are your ills, but you sleep with them because it brings you to an orgasm...an orgasm of filth and depravity. You consume your shallow life in a foreplay with no climax because you cannot deal with malfunction...you cannot deal with chaos. Chaos, is a new world order. Chaos is chaos. Chaos is real. Chaos is your sixth sense. Chaos is life. Chaos is death. Why are you afraid of me? Because I am chaos.

So my friend till we meet again...fuck off!!!

Only one can bring me what I'm looking for...Venus.

A Sinner's Epilogue

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Today, as I stand at the gallows pole, I answer the questions that life has posed me. When I go, I go in the knowledge that at the threshold of my end, I have answered life and it's doubters.

Why did I commit murder you ask...but you do not question the death of innocent thousands that die at the hands of governments, that I suppose is a necessary evil. I kill because I am left with no option, I have no choice, and killing is my business and I kill in the name of honour. I am a mercenary, for the poor against the rich. I have only taken the lives of those who kill for false glory, and I stand by my judgement that to free this world of such vermin is my legacy. I gladly go to the gallows knowing fully well that the pain that a thousand felt at the hands of these few murderers are at least slightly avenged. I am a mercenary for the unarmed and the innocent, yet you condemn me to my death, then pray, tell me where is justice for all?

Tell me, should I forgive those who trespass against us? War and famine in Sierra Leone - tell me who sponsors this blood feud? Why do we watch the media glorifying soldiers in the Middle East? Are they not fighting a war that is not theirs? And in the end, when they return home, killed by a soldier who only defended himself, they are given a hero's salute...why? What about the orphaned child who picked up a broken rifle and used it to survive in Iraq?

Today I will be on national television, I will be a national disgrace and I will be condemned to hell by my own flesh and blood. I will die as I lived, by the sword, but will you care about me after I am gone? Do you know the truth of my life? Do you remember the thousands who die in Asia fighting governments? Do you know what it is to have shrapnel lodged in your skull, but you cannot die because no one is alive to pump in the last bullet? Tell me then, that why you've accepted that I'm a sinner while you let the blood-seeking so called warriors of peace carry on their massacres of millions?

When I go, I go in peace for I know I have written a book of the dead for the innocent, and their faces are all that give me salvation, for it is for the weak that I stand against the strong, for the myriad children decapitated in the name of national security, for those who stand at our borders and give their lives so that we may live another day.

So as I go now, question your government, people should never be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.

This is My Time

You question my past and my present and doubt if I'll make the future. You bring with you the vices of a thousand generations and the poisoned reason of failures across the millenia. Who are you to question me? You are nothing but a megalomaniac, a pathetic parasite and a disgrace to all that the world has given you...your name is the unbeliever, because you don't believe in the fact that I've done what you couldn't...and you can't take it no more can you?

Every moment that you waste in planning my downfall, I grow stronger. Where the will of the heart and the mind meet, no will of yours can deface. I am here now, and you were, go now, to the lands of your kind...where men die without honour, just as they lived. For now, you are one of them, one of those bastard sons and daughters of life, where all you can ever do is wish that you'd been me...but I am I and you are a nobody...

You think you've got revenge on your hand, but I am past all revenge, I am past all the garbage that the earth throws at me and I am my own present and I will be my own future. I will walk the path I choose, hand in hand with my freedom, with my head held high because I am master of this war. And you, lying there in the mud, all broken and battered, but yet, you do not learn. Pray then, and tell me do you deserve a second chance? Unbeliever, when freedom was yours to take, you laughed at its face and turned it away, and yet it followed you...until I reigned it in.

Your time is past, this is the dawning of a new age, my age, where I rule what is mine and where you nor the world can drench my kindgom with the rain of spite...be assured, that should you wage war against me, my army shall lead you straight to your grave...go now when the light shows you the way home and reflect on chances lost, not one, not two, but a thousand...

The Dark Ride

Why do we try and explain the black forever? The black lies right in the middle of the white and is a part of every human. When we choose to embrace the black it only means that we are in deeper touch with who we truly are. The white is us as we appear in the eyes of the world. The black is us as we appear in the eyes of the insanse.

Why do I embrace the darkness you ask...well, my friend, the answer is simple...I am the darkness that embraces me, and I am I, I live in a world of illusions and sometimes to see the only real image, I retreat into my own space, a space beyond the vision of mankind, a space beyond the human mind, to find that one true image.

A strange new world welcomes me, where all my tears have been washed away and my fears disappear, where my mind rules and the dark ride begins. The dark ride to the deepest craters of the moon, where my heart bleeds as I prick myself with the needles of truth. And deeper and deeper goes the blade of hatred against all that stands against me. I cannot do this when I am in the white, because my mind is clouded by reason, hence I choose the darkness.

To be able to strangle conscience and conformities, I sabotage reasoned thought and turn it into free thought, and I pay the price for my actions in the real world, in the white. I become isolated, an outcast, a non-conformist and a black sheep...but when my life is mine alone, do I really care about what the world thinks? I think everyone does have the right to choose the path he or she takes and the right to make everything for themselves, for when our lives end, it is we who burn in the ashes and not those we lived a life of lies for.

In the white, I believe in nothing, because all that is around is a white lie. A lie that will twist and turn with you as you sleep and bring the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse roaring into your nightmares...

I believe in what belief tells me and I believe in the power of being able to delve into my dark spaces and find strength to fight the real world. Call me a coward if you may, but I'm not the one that ran from pain, hatred, betrayal and anger, I stood...and I will continue to stand and fight...I am the one you, society, loves to hate...